March 28th
Well, today is one of those days where I just don't want to be a mom. I mean- sure I love my kids, but I really need some time for myself. I know it sounds selfish. I usually keep on my toes concerning the entire family- so when it comes time to take care of myself- I just don't have the energy nor the inclination. I think I should switch my priorities...get up take, care of myself, do what I need for myself- THEN take care of the family. I am having a challenge with finding quiet time with God. I think I need to revisit boundaries with my kids. If I am in my room quietly- praying or reading His word- there is A-L-W-A-Y-S a soft knock at the door. A quiet voice always follows- as they are “not wanting to disturb me," but they are! Funny how that is... And, as usual, there is always a question that can wait 15 more minutes. I LOVE my kids- I think I have the best TEENS in the world- and yet...today I don't care to have the responsibility of motherhood!
I remember the shocking story of this mom in our home town who decided to go on a trip to Europe for 2 weeks. She unfortunately left her kids behind to fend for themselves. The eldest was 15, I think, and there were at least 5 siblings in all. We could NEVER imagine doing something like that! Perhaps we might have thought about it in our mommy dream world...however...most of us would have found a way for babysitters, family overnighters, or at least a summer camp!
Several years ago, we were eating at McDonald's near a local theater. Apparently, there were 2 couples who felt it was "OK" to leave their 4 children at McDonald's playing in the activity center while they went to the movies. WOW! I never would have thought of that even on my most difficult days of pampers, pull ups and Sippy cups! Can you imagine? Of course you can’t.
No....these were not in my thoughts today when I said I didn't want to be a mom. I just want guilt free time to go away for a couple of days and re-energize myself. It would be so nice to have my youthful looking skin back, that beautiful white smile of my youth, and to be able to find my waist that somehow got lost in the shuffle of life. It would be nice to be looked at by people in the store as if I had brains. (Noticing the workers are about the same age as my kids). Ahhh trading in my older brains for good looks is pretty enticing these days, but alas and alak- we all grow older.
I just realized I have been writing this entire blog without interruption! Do I have something here? Could this be actually happening? I mean, an entire 30 min to write- reflect- fix typos and form thoughts...ALL without a soft knock at the door or a quiet voice whispering....
OK! So now I am worried. I better go check up on those teens! They ARE in their rooms you know.... BEING PRIVATE!!!
I remember the shocking story of this mom in our home town who decided to go on a trip to Europe for 2 weeks. She unfortunately left her kids behind to fend for themselves. The eldest was 15, I think, and there were at least 5 siblings in all. We could NEVER imagine doing something like that! Perhaps we might have thought about it in our mommy dream world...however...most of us would have found a way for babysitters, family overnighters, or at least a summer camp!
Several years ago, we were eating at McDonald's near a local theater. Apparently, there were 2 couples who felt it was "OK" to leave their 4 children at McDonald's playing in the activity center while they went to the movies. WOW! I never would have thought of that even on my most difficult days of pampers, pull ups and Sippy cups! Can you imagine? Of course you can’t.
No....these were not in my thoughts today when I said I didn't want to be a mom. I just want guilt free time to go away for a couple of days and re-energize myself. It would be so nice to have my youthful looking skin back, that beautiful white smile of my youth, and to be able to find my waist that somehow got lost in the shuffle of life. It would be nice to be looked at by people in the store as if I had brains. (Noticing the workers are about the same age as my kids). Ahhh trading in my older brains for good looks is pretty enticing these days, but alas and alak- we all grow older.
I just realized I have been writing this entire blog without interruption! Do I have something here? Could this be actually happening? I mean, an entire 30 min to write- reflect- fix typos and form thoughts...ALL without a soft knock at the door or a quiet voice whispering....
OK! So now I am worried. I better go check up on those teens! They ARE in their rooms you know.... BEING PRIVATE!!!
Blessings!
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