Well it has been about 9 months since my last post. How appropriate for my timing. I believe Ihave birthed a new phase in my life both as a mom and a woman.
The seasons of motherhood can be hard to accept as our children grow. We know they have to, as it is a part of the natural progression of life. I have experienced different emotions as my kids have grown. Some have been delightful, others painful, while others have been awe inspiring. I remember my daughter in kindergarten; her independent spirit seemed to make her invincible. She was VERY opinionated about what she wore- the colors she selected and how she insisted on doing her own hair style. I was never allowed to brush her hair or put in clips, I was only there to monitor that she looked presentable. We laugh now at the pictures of the 10-12 multicolored butterfly hair clips placed perfectly symmetrical over the crown of her head in such regal adornment! Everything must match. She had HER style and no one was going to tell her any different! These past several months that little independent spirit seemed to take a back seat as she prepared to go off to college. Leaving home at 19 and a 3rd year student might not seem a big deal to some, but I noticed this budding intellectual beauty seemed a bit reserved. As is our tradition every morning, we were on my bed sipping our hot cups of tea having our daily chat as mother and daughter. In the middle of the conversation, she burst into tears and said: " Mommy, what if I HATE this school? I am so afraid I will miss you too much?" Well, you know my heart exploded with laughter, tears, and joy all at the same time! We hugged,laughed, cried, and cherished our final moments on my bed enjoying the quiet time alone.
Letting go and releasing our children into the harsh wonderful new adventure of their life can be tough, but richly rewarding as well. I made it an entire 4 days with out calling or texting her. I was so proud of myself, I think I deserve a reward! It is hard to let her go, but I KNOW this time in her life is the time she will solidify her womanhood, set her goals in life, make mistakes, and Never regret her choice to leave home. She will find lifetime friends, perhaps change fashion and realize I do NOT know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING! That last part will be tough for me. When your daughter looks to you as her life long encyclopedia, it is hard to humble yourself and allow her to be the one who might have a little more knowledge than you.. I will finish my cup of tea now as I know she is sipping hers in her dorm room getting ready for class. Perhaps I should plan a surprise road trip late spring?
